Work through the general discussion regarding the what, why and when of mentoring first.
We are often faced with a lack of leadership in the church, mostly because of a lack of effective mentoring.
Ex.18:13-23 (68) (Jethro and Moses)
Developing leaders will not take care of itself, it is a very important aspect of what we do as leaders – we need to give ourselves to it diligently, purposefully, patiently, yet relentlessly.
The church, both universal and local, will not reach its fullness unless we give ourselves, not reluctantly, but relentlessly to the continuous development of leaders.
Mentoring, however, is not primarily aimed at producing leaders who fulfil a specific function (e.g. eldership).
*Mentoring is aimed at stirring a passion, fanning gifting into flame (not ambition 2 Tim.1:6), daring to dream the dreams of God, opening up to an awareness of God’s bigger plans and purposes.
As such, well mentored people lead themselves into God’s dreams for them, they make the adjustments, cut the excesses, become faithful and disciplined, they devote themselves (Acts 2:42) all because someone took the time to point them and to lead them into the right direction.
This is the only way in which to ensure that we develop and “produce” well rounded people, who follow the person, spirit and style of Jesus Christ, and not just leaders, deacons, elders or church planters.
Effective mentoring therefore produces effective leaders by default, as a bonus – but it firstly produces self-leaders, good fathers and mothers, good spouses and healthy marriages, good stewards, self-developers, etc.
* Mentoring is not a “church leadership machine” designed to produce deacons and elders, it releases the priesthood into functioning in their God given call, into living their dream, into a delightful adventure in God!
Having said this, it is also very important that we realise that as leaders, our time is limited and therefore precious.
People must want to be mentored, although fun-filled, it must be taken seriously and the necessary adjustments must be made as we journey together.
Due to limitations on the available time of a lead elder, you may have to spend more time with groups of people than one on one.
You will probably also be more specific in one on one mentoring, focussing on bringing someone through into a specific role or function.
How do leaders mentor potential leaders?
1) Mentoring is about building a relationship:
There is no “one size fits all”; everyone is different – coming from a different background and often heading into a different direction.
Trust needs to be build over time and confidence should be honoured wherever possible.
People want to know that you are for them, that you want them to come through, to succeed and that you are setting them up for victory – while they are second guessing your motive or agenda, you are wasting your time.
Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care!
*Mentoring is firstly very relational in nature.
Therefore we need to allow those whom we are mentoring to get close enough to us to get to know our hearts and our dreams as well.
They need to catch the truths that we carry without having to be taught all of these in a formal setting. They need to see it, hear it, feel it and smell it when they are with us.
Take notes where applicable: Remember that you are on a journey together – make it clear that these are not exhibits that are intended to be used against the person at a later stage, nor is it detective notes.
The idea is simply to take notes of things that you would like to get back to in the future.
You might pick up something (pos. or neg.) that you would like to spend time on, but that would distract from what you are doing now; make a note and get back to it at a future date.
2) Mentoring is a journey on which we give Word based guidance.
We are shaping lives for the future, using the Bible as tool, not our culture, traditions, style, personality, pet subjects or opinions.
Therefore it will include all aspects of live, for example: Marriage or relationships, raising children, finances, stewardship and the like,
because all of these influence our ability to lead ourselves and others.
This might seem very general, but there definitely needs to be a deliberate purpose to mentoring; we are not becoming life-gurus.
It needs to head into a specific direction; it has a goal and a vision – to equip for Kingdom service, most probably in a specific capacity.
It needs to release people into their specific call to fulfil their destiny in God! Living their dream!
In this regard, mentoring for leaders is secondly functional in nature.
(1 Tim. 4:14-16)
3) It is important therefore that we choose the right people to invest our most precious commodity, TIME, into.
*We (leaders) need to mentor those that have a definite call on their lives, are aware of it (even if we are the ones who make them aware of it), and are adjusting their lives around it.
If we do this properly, then we will end up only mentoring a handful of people in our lifetime.
Therefore it is vital that we choose the right handful!
Bill Johnson makes the point that many “mature” Christians are still powerless, because they feel that they need to become better Christians before God can use them. “That single lie has kept us in perpetual immaturity because it protects us from the power encounter that transform us. The result is that we have converts trained and over trained until they have no life, vision or ingenuity left. This next generation of converts must be handled differently. We must help them by giving them their identity as world changers, provide them with a model for character, passion and power and open up opportunities to serve. Mario Murillo puts it this way, “When he picks up a Bible, his focus will not be on emotional healing or self-esteem. He’ll ask you where the trigger is and how you fire it. When he reads the Word, he will want to apply it to the taking over of neighborhoods for God!” (When heaven invades earth; p108)
These are the radical ones whom we need to invest our lives into!
But we better make sure that we know where the trigger is and how to fire it, lest we limit these men and women to lifeless theory!
**They need to be devoted to God, to the church (the believers), to the vision and values of the local church, to the processes of God in their own lives and to you as their leader. (Mk.3:13 Jesus “called to Him those He wanted”)
Leaders mentor with a different and more specific outcome in mind, therefore you will mentor those with a definite call on their lives, to bring them through. (Not always into leadership, but mostly.)
They should also be people of character:
2 Tim. 2:2 mentions “reliable men” – these are God-fearing, faithful, trustworthy men and women of highest integrity, yet they need to serve – servants of God, serving His purposes and His people.
Moreover they should also be people of passion! Mt.11:12!
4) Give homework where applicable.
Apart from a topical study it might be good to lead someone through an expository study (perhaps in the form of a series of sermons) on a specific book or epistle (e.g. Timothy or Titus).
The idea is to do whatever will be helpful to prepare someone for their future in God, to set them up for what the future holds, to equip them.
The effort that they put into “homework” will give a clear indication of how serious they are about being mentored – they don’t do or prepare something to please you, to keep you happy, they do it because they have had a revelation of their own future in God and they will not settle for anything less.
In Mt.19:16-22 Jesus gives a young man some homework – it is interesting that Jesus does not run after him when he messes up the homework.
Jesus sends out the 72 with “homework” in Luke 10.
5) Give them opportunities.
What is it that you are mentoring them into? It has to have some specifics – give them opportunities in that area, for example to preach, or to lead a prayer meeting, or to walk someone through a difficult time – allow them to apply what they have been learning.
*When we give someone an opportunity, we do it with the intention and the hope that they will make a great success of it; perhaps even do better than we would have ourselves. (This is the heart of mentoring.)
Therefore we set them up for victory by giving them the necessary authority together with responsibility.
This will mean that we will take risks from time to time, modelling trust, which is encouraging. Mt.10:1 & 7-8
It also emphasises how important it is that we choose the right people to mentor in the first place – ask yourself: “Is this the kind of person that I will be willing to risk with in giving him responsibility and authority?”
If not, then should you then be investing your time in him in the first place?
6) A good mentor challenges by asking relevant questions.
Apart from the very important Why-question we, as leaders, should also ask:
“What season are we in?” This is a vital characteristic to develop in those whom we mentor, for unless we know the season, we will not know what to do – do we sow, water, reap or rest? 1 Chron.12:32
“What do we do next, or where to from here?” This type of question helps to develop thinking leaders and not simply loyal followers, or effective maintainers.
It develops the very important difference between leaders and managers – it helps them to see and prepare for the future in order to become that future.
Mt.16:13-19
7) Keep it fun.
This is often quite difficult, especially when we are, or are dealing with, task oriented people.
Some love very clearly demarcated input sessions versus relational sessions, but it is important that we keep it natural – again this is life, it is not a set curriculum with blocks to tick –
Tuesday afternoon 15:17 had fun, tick.
Jn.21:4-6 & 9-12a
Pray together:
It might seem hollow and religious to end off every fun time in prayer, but very needed after a discussion on relational tension in the workplace or marriage.
But we do not only pray with them, we also pray for them, we petition God on their behalf and we spend time hearing from God for them. (without becoming their household priest, their go between!)
It is great to start a mentoring “session” by being able to say “While I was praying for you, I felt God say…”
9) Prophecy and blessing:
We also lay hands on them and pray and prophesy over them, to bless them – over both those who are powering ahead, and those who are struggling to keep up. 1 Tim.4:14 (Num.6:24-26; Isa.54:1-3; Ps.20 & Ps.113)
We need more Sons of Encouragement and fewer Sons of Thunder!
Mk.3:17; Lk.9:51-54; Acts 8:4-8 & 14-17
Eze.37 “What do you see?” it might be dry bones but you are to prophesy life!
10) Mentoring by example:
Phil.3:17 & Heb.13:7
In mentoring or fathering, it is vital that we do not only possess and model the spiritual attributes which we want others to pick up on, but also that we are examples of being a good natural father:
A good father is firstly a good husband – we model to our own children what we want them to become. (1 Tim.3:2)
A good father is present, he cares, he loves, he provides, he is involved and informed, he is patient, but he also disciplines. (1 Tim.3:4-5; Heb.12:7-11; 1 Thes.2:11-12)
*Mentoring should be a value of the entire eldership team – it must become a culture of the leadership team before it will spill over into the body.
Ultimately mentoring should develop into a culture of the priesthood – I believe that each believer priest should be mentored by someone and should in turn mentor someone.
We need to constantly be crying out to God to send and show us men and women to equip and to release into God’s dreams over them, to equip the saints, to release the priesthood, to strengthen the church and to reach the lost.
Search out reliable men, who in turn will be able to equip others.
Mt.9:37-38: “Then He said to His disciples ‘The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field.’”
What mentoring is not:
1) Babysitting someone – keeping them occupied and mostly out of trouble.
2) Spoon-feeding – force-feeding someone values and principles until they become brainless zombies who never think for themselves, but diligently and sheepishly follow the pattern supplied. (Spiritual colour by numbers!)
3) Older brother telling you what to do, or spoiling the fun. It’s not about fault finding or nit-picking.
4) Manipulation – to do things my way, or to see things from a prescribed perspective.
5) Cloning – it is not about reproducing myself, my personality or style; obviously I will be imparting wisdom and experience, but I am constantly pointing towards Jesus.
6) Grooming for a “position”.
7) A way in which to make or to keep someone dependant on me – we are developing “Fathers” not perpetuating “Boyhood”.
Counselling, or a course presented on Tuesday evenings between 7-9pm; it is a process, a journey that may take the rest of your life.
9) Limited to the spiritual aspects of life only – it can and should include anything that that will set someone up for victory, from finances to lovemaking. (The mindset is that this is a culture a “life long” process on an ad hoc basis. Sometimes it will be focussed on a specific topic e.g. preparing someone for marriage, other times it will simply be random aspects of life.)
10) One-size-fits-all, each person is unique with different strengths, weaknesses, dreams and fears, therefore we mentor accordingly.
